Undoubtedly, trust is the most important element in a business relationship. Throughout my career, a high level of trust was present in every relationship where I sponsored an employee for promotion. If you want to get ahead in business or ministry, you must have your boss’s trust.
On the other hand, whenever I was reluctant to sponsor someone for a promotion, it was because of a lack of trust.
Trust Lost
When I was a young sales manager, my sales team comprised of two younger and three older men. A few months into my tenure, one of the older men came to me and told me about a conversation that he had overheard between the younger two men. As it turned out the younger men were gossiping about me and criticizing my leadership.
Later, when I dug into the situation, I found one of the young men had been particularly vociferous in his criticism. I was surprised because to my face, he had always presented himself as friendly and supportive.
Trust between he and I was broken. I never fully trusted him after this situation.
Recently, Sue, (a young manager), excitedly told me about her promotion. It was a well-deserved recognition of her hard work and solid leadership. Management had spent several months assessing three possible candidates in their workgroup. Finally, Sue was selected for the promotion. One candidate, Dave heartily congratulated Sue when the announcement was made, even though he thought he was qualified. On the other hand, Becky left the room quietly. She immediately confronted first one boss, then the bosses’ boss behind Sue’s back. Becky went on and on describing what she considered to be Sue’s shortcomings and why she, (Becky), should be promoted instead.
In one set of conversations, Becky broke trust with Sue, Sue’s boss, and the bosses’ boss. Becky might as well pack her stuff and find a new job because I bet that she will never be trusted or considered for a promotion in this organization.
The Common Element
In both these examples, the cause of the broken trust was gossip.
The Bible has a lot to say about the dangers of gossip and gossipers.
Regarding gossip, King David said, “Whoever slanders his neighbor in secret, him will I put to silence” (Psalm 101:5a). As a leader, David realized how dangerous gossip was, so he planned to silence the gossipers and keep them out of his court of advisors.
David’s son, Solomon, seemed to have taken his father’s advice about not trusting gossips and staying away from them. Solomon said, “A gossip betrays a confidence; so, avoid anyone who talks too much” (Proverbs 20:19).
Dangers of a Gossip
There are many reasons it’s best for a leader to not trust gossip and to ensure gossips have no place in their organizations. In my own experience, I’ve seen gossipers not keep confidential information to themselves, they initiate arguments and strife in an organization, and they destroy relationships.
As leaders, we should not be surprised by any of these dangers caused by a gossiper because Solomon warned us about all three!
Gossipers Can’t Keep A Secret
Solomon said, one danger of gossip is they can’t be trusted to keep a confidence. He said, “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret” (Proverbs 11:13). Gossipers love to talk, and information is their stock in trade. They love to tell everyone what they know because it makes them feel important.
Gossipers Start Arguments
Gossipers will go as far as instigating discord in the organization. Solomon said, “Without wood, a fire goes out; without a gossip, a quarrel dies down” (Proverbs 26:20). A gossiper is like a firebug. The firebug starts a fire, then stands around to watch the chaos and destruction that ensues. Gossipers will start a fire in the form of a quarrel between co-workers and then stand back and watch the fire!
Gossipers Damage Relationships
Damaged or destroyed relationships are left behind in the wake of a gossiper. Again, Solomon said, “Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends” (Proverbs 17:9). Issues are bound to come up between coworkers and most of the time; disagreements are settled amicably. But when the gossiper is added to the mix, they stir things back up, repeating their gossip and rekindling the controversy to the point that relationships are damaged.
There are a lot more reasons a leader can’t trust someone who gossips. But still, as leaders, these three reasons should be enough for us to make sure gossip is not tolerated in our organizations.
Why would you trust someone with sensitive information if you knew they couldn’t keep a secret?
Why would you trust someone if you knew they were the kind of person who gets their kicks from sowing discord?
Why would you trust someone who disrupted the workforce to the point of damaging working relationships among your employees?
I hope your answer to all three of these questions is that you wouldn’t trust this person. Now, what do you do about it? I love King David’s plan, which is to silence the gossip. If you can’t silence them, then get rid of them. Trust me when I say, no matter how good they are in their job, they aren’t worth the trouble.
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Join the Conversation
As always, questions and comments are welcome. Have you had to deal with gossipers in your workplace? If so, were they accepted and allowed to continue, or did someone deal with them? How do you handle gossip in your workplace?
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Category: Personal Development | Leader Qualifications
