Have you ever felt disconnected from your work or important relationships? Maybe you felt anxious or downright depressed? So, have I!
I once had all the symptoms of being emotionally exhausted; but at the time I didn’t realize it. I was teetering on burnout. But that can’t be! In my 27-year-old mind, burnout is something that happens to “old” people in their 30s and 40s!
It had all started two years before. My fiancé and I had moved from California to Oregon to start our new jobs. A few months later, we were married. Then, we endured several rounds of hormone therapy which turned out to be bitterly disappointing unsuccessful attempts to have children. After giving up on having our own children, we sought the help of adoption agencies. However, these agencies roundly rejected us, saying we had not been married long enough, and we were “too old.”
Needless to say, our young married life was off to a very stressful start!
While all this was going on, I found myself working for a new boss whose ambition was to get ahead no matter what. He broke numerous company policies and pushed his employees to do the same. I said “no” on more than one occasion, and he hated that I stood up to him.
In July of that year, my new boss conducted my annual performance review and flatly said I could resign, or he would find some way to fire me! I refused to sign my performance review and told him, not too politely, where he could put it!
So, it’s not surprising in the days that followed that I lacked motivation, I had trouble sleeping, and I was irritable beyond belief. I was eating two rolls of Tums a day to control the fire burning in my belly. I was feeling hopeless, and in a word, I was depressed!
Symptoms of Being Emotionally Exhausted
It turns out that everything I had experienced in those days were the classic symptoms of someone who is emotionally exhausted.
Emotional exhaustion is defined as “a state of feeling emotionally worn-out and drained as a result of accumulated stress from your personal or work lives, or a combination of both.”
An article from Psychology Today lists 16 common symptoms of emotional exhaustion that include:
- Chronic fatigue.
- Insomnia.
- Forgetfulness/impaired concentration and attention.
- Physical symptoms.
- Increased illness.
- Loss of appetite.
- Anxiety.
- Depression.
- Anger.
- Loss of enjoyment.
- Pessimism.
- Isolation.
- Detachment.
- Feelings of apathy and hopelessness.
- Increased irritability.
- Lack of productivity and poor performance.
Looking at this list, I imagine that most, if not all of us, can think of a time in our lives when we’ve experienced one or two of these symptoms. However, these symptoms are warning signs that stress is impacting our lives, and not in a good way! If you experience several of the symptoms of emotional exhaustion, then you need to make changes in your life, pronto!
Looking back at this list, I now realize I experienced 14 of the 16 symptoms of emotional exhaustion (I never got sick, and my appetite was unaffected by the stress).
Five R’s to Recovery when You’re Feeling Emotionally Exhausted
Emotional exhaustion or burnout is not like getting a common cold; it doesn’t just go away after a few days.
There are many approaches to deal with emotional exhaustion. However, God provides a four-step approach: remove, rest & restore, release, and refocus.
We see this four-step approach play out in the life of the prophet Elijah (1 Kings 19). After a climactic victory over the priest of the Baals, Elijah received a threat on his life from Queen Jezebel. Elijah was afraid. Fleeing for his life, Elijah ran into the wilderness by himself, sat under a tree, and prayed for God just to kill him.
Elijah was emotionally exhausted. He was burned out. But God was with Elijah. God helped Elijah deal with his emotional exhaustion by removing, resting & restoring, releasing, and refocusing.
Remove the Stress
The best way to treat stress is to eliminate the stressor. It’s not always possible to eliminate the stressor in the workplace. It wasn’t within my control to eliminate the stress from my bad boss. So, sometimes to eliminate workplace stress, you may need to change jobs or take a new assignment.
In Elijah’s case, he needed to get away from his stressor by running into the wilderness. In my case, I needed to move and take on a new assignment.
Rest & Restore Your Body
Being emotionally exhausted takes a heavy toll on our physical bodies. Almost half of the list of 16 symptoms of burnout are physical! Once we get away from our stressor, we need to rest and restore our bodies.
The first thing Elijah did after he settled himself under the tree in the wilderness is, he fell asleep! He was emotionally and physically drained, and he needed rest! But Elijah also needed food, so God woke Elijah up and told him to eat and drink. Elijah looked around and saw God had provided food and water for him. After he ate, Elijah fell right back to sleep.
Then after he slept and ate, Elijah’s strength was restored. So, we need to rest and restore our bodies when we are suffering from emotional exhaustion. We cannot function well mentally or physically until we get the rest and nutrition our bodies need.
Release Your Frustration
The next step to recover from emotional exhaustion is to release our frustrations. We need to get that emotional poison out of our systems!
After Elijah woke up from his nap, he let loose on God. He told God about all his fears and frustrations about being a prophet, about the rebellious people of Israel, and about Jezebel trying to kill him.
It is important to get all the emotional poison out of our system. Tell God all your fears. Express your anger and resentment. Tell Him about your loneliness, worries, and depression. Nothing you tell God will surprise Him. He already knows.
Refocus on God
Emotional exhaustion is destructive because our focus is inward. Our focus is on how we feel about ourselves. Elijah felt rejected by the people of Israel. He felt threatened by his adversaries. And because of all this, he even felt abandoned by God.
Even if you feel like you’re all alone in the wilderness like Elijah was, it’s important to remember you are not really alone. God is with you through every trial. God talked to Elijah throughout this time in the desert. He provided Elijah food and water. God even demonstrated His presence by comforting him and letting him know that he was not alone.
When we are in the depths of despair, we need to take our focus off our problem and onto God. God’s power and presence will see you through the trials in your life.
Happy Ending
In case you’re wondering…
My work life with the bad boss didn’t go on too long. The company discovered what he had been doing, and they gave him 60 days to seek “alternative employment options.” A company executive heard about what happened to me and offered me a great assignment back in California. An international adoption agency finally came through for us, allowing us to adopt our son Justin. Four years later, through private adoption, we adopted our beautiful daughter, Rebekah.
Back in those days when I was 27 years-old, I was emotionally exhausted and didn’t realize it. However, God saw me through this difficult time, and He will do the same for you.
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Join the Conversation
As always, questions and comments are welcome. Are you experiencing any of the symptoms of being emotionally exhausted? If so, how are you dealing with them?
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Category: Personal Development | Dependence on God
