Giving feedback to the boss is not always a good idea. It can best be described with some bosses as “a career-limiting move.” On the other hand, with some bosses giving feedback is more of a worst-case scenario known as “a career-terminating move.”
I’ve worked with bosses across the spectrum when it comes to receiving feedback from employees. Some bosses are so wrapped up in their insecurities that anyone who questions them by offering feedback is on thin ice that may end an employee’s career prospects or even result in termination. On the other hand, some bosses say they want your feedback, but what they mean is, “praise me, stroke my ego, but don’t you dare say anything negative!”
I’ve worked for both bosses, and I can say with the confidence of painful lessons learned that it’s best not to provide any form of feedback to them unless you already have your resume polished.
Happily, I’ve also had the good fortune of working for a third kind of boss. This boss sincerely asks for your feedback and means it. They see your feedback as an opportunity to learn and improve—even if they disagree with your assessment!
7 Feedback Tips
So, if you find yourself working for a boss who is genuinely interested in your feedback, then by all means, give them the feedback they requested. However, assuming you have “permission” to provide feedback, it’s best to proceed cautiously. Giving feedback to the boss differs from giving feedback to an employee. So, here are seven tips for providing feedback to the boss.
1. Be Helpful
Begin your feedback by assuring your boss that you desire to be helpful, not critical or confrontational. Showing is better than telling, so show your boss why something is good or bad whenever possible.
When showing isn’t possible, then telling is necessary, but describe why something is good or bad as precisely as possible. The key to helpful feedback is to avoid generalizations and platitudes in favor of specific suggestions.
2. Be Humble
Feedback, especially critical feedback, is best received from a humble heart. There may be many things you know more about than your boss. Don’t let your expertise become a source of pride when delivering feedback. There is always a chance that you may have misunderstood a situation and might be wrong. So, stay humble. Remember, there are many things your boss has expertise in that you know little about.
3. Immediately
It may be tempting to delay or even avoid delivering negative feedback to your boss, but it’s crucial to deliver feedback as soon as possible. Memories fade quickly. So, provide feedback, whether praise or criticism, as soon as you can while the details remain fresh in your mind.
When I was a sales manager training new salespeople, I made it a practice to provide detailed feedback on a sales call right after the call. But unfortunately, even waiting until the end of the day was bad because memories of who said what or what happened had already started fading.
4. In-Person
My preference is to always deliver feedback in person. Watching someone’s body language when receiving feedback indicates how well they understand or receive my feedback. It is also far easier to supply detailed feedback in person.
It is impossible to know how someone responds to feedback delivered via email. Did they understand my feedback? Did they misinterpret my meaning or the tone of what I said? There are too many ways emailed feedback can go wrong, so I always try to provide feedback in person.
5. Praise in Private and in Public
Most folks don’t mind being told when they’ve done something well. Bosses are no exception. I like to praise in private when the boss handles a tricky situation well. For example, someone distracts a meeting, taking it off track, and the boss deftly maneuvers the group back to the task at hand. A short private recognition of their skill at handling a sticky situation lets the boss know their work did not go unnoticed.
I like to praise work well done in public when the praise is a learning experience for others. Employees who hear specific words of commendation directed to the boss will likely emulate that behavior. For example, the boss explains a complicated business problem and the team’s next steps. Commending the boss in front of the team and showing appreciation for the direction does two things. First, it recognizes the boss’s skill, and second, it shows others what kind of thinking deserves praise.
6. Criticize in Private
When it comes time to criticize something the boss has done, always do it privately. No one likes a serious mistake called out in front of others. It’s embarrassing, and it raises defenses. So, when criticism needs to be delivered, do it personally, privately, and as soon as possible.
7. Do Personalize/Don’t Personalize
My rule of thumb when providing feedback for bosses is to personalize praise and not to personalize criticism.
I like to personalize the praise if the boss has done something well. For example, “I got a lot out of today’s staff meeting. I really appreciate how you handled answering the difficult staffing questions.” Specific and personal praise is helpful and means a lot more to the boss than generic, impersonal comments like “Great staff meeting today.”
But if criticism is needed, I avoid making it sound personal. Personal criticism raises defenses quickly. As such, I won’t say, “You didn’t handle those staffing questions very well in today’s staff meeting.” Instead, I might say, “Staffing questions are really challenging (empathize). Can I offer a suggestion for how to handle this type of question next time around?” (helpful).
A Special Note to Bosses
Don’t passively sit back and wait for feedback to come from your employees. Ask for it!
Many intelligent people are working for you; otherwise, you wouldn’t have hired them, right? So, one of the smartest things you can do for yourself as a leader and for the organization is to invite your employees to give you feedback. Assure them there is no risk in sharing their opinion.
Or, you can be even more proactive and solicit specific feedback. Ask individual employees what they think, and don’t settle for generalizations. Instead, ask for specifics and examples. Once people realize how much you value their opinions, you’ll be surprised by how much valuable insight they have to share.
Discussion Questions
These questions can serve as a useful framework for guiding a thoughtful and engaging discussion about the article and how its insights and perspectives apply to our lives today.
- How can you determine which stage of leadership you are currently in, and why is this important?
- What are some common mistakes that emerging leaders tend to make, and how can they avoid them?
- How can active leaders balance the demands of leadership with the need for ongoing learning and skill development?
- What are some practical ways that mature leaders can leave a positive legacy for the next generation of leaders?
- How can organizations support leaders in each of the three stages of leadership, and why is this important for the organization’s long-term success?
More Articles
I have written several articles on exhortation. You can find them by typing “exhortation” in the search bar. Meanwhile, here are some of my favorites.
- #479: How Should You Approach Dealing with Conflict and Wrongdoing at Work?
- #112: A Warning of Judgment from God for all Wannabe Leaders
- #111: 4 Types of Leaders Who Rejected God and Failed
- #029: Mirror, Mirror On The Wall
Join the Conversation
As always, questions and comments are welcome. What happened when you attempted to provide feedback to a boss? Have you worked for a boss who actively solicited feedback from employees?
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Relationships | Exhortation
Great advice. The “in person” one is so important. I watched an interview last night with a billionaire and he was asked why he needs a personal jet. He said, “Because you can’t do effective business over zoom calls. You have to meet in person.”
My preference was always in person just because so many things can be misinterpreted with email. Since I don’t have my own jet, zoom would be my second choice for long distance feedback, then a phone call coupled with an email would be my last choice.