A lesson I learned early in my management career was that every leader needs someone who will provide honest, constructive feedback.
Even though it was probably 40 years ago, I remember the day well. It was a beautiful sunny morning in Southern California, and I had been selected to escort a senior vice president for our division around the marketplace. As we drove along, we talked at length about the strengths and opportunities in our business. As we drove, the vice president turned to me and said most seriously, “Look, Ron, if we ever are about to do something stupid in this business, you call me directly. Clear?”
I realized at that moment that from where he sat near the top of the executive mountain, most people who reported to him were afraid to call him out when he made a poor decision. What he needed as a leader was someone whom he could trust, and that was fearless in providing honest, constructive feedback.
It turns out every leader needs that whether they realize it or not.
Nathan Confronts David
One of the finest examples of someone confronting a leader with honest, constructive feedback in the Bible occurs between Nathan and David.
The story of Nathan confronting King David is told in 2 Samuel 12. Nathan, a prophet and advisor to King David, had the difficult task of bringing to light David’s sin of adultery and murder. Despite the gravity of the situation, Nathan delivered his message in a way that was honest and respectful, ultimately leading to David’s repentance and restoration.
As a leader, having someone in your life who can serve in this role is important. Too often, leaders surround themselves with people who will only tell them what they want to hear, leading to a lack of growth and an increased likelihood of making mistakes. Every leader needs a Nathan in their lives who will provide honest feedback, encouragement, wisdom, and support.
Honest Feedback
Nathan would confront David with the truth, even when it was difficult. For example, in 2 Samuel 12:7, Nathan tells David, “You are the man!” This brave act of confronting David with his sin helped him see the error of his ways and brought about a change in his behavior.
Encouragement
Nathan encouraged David to do what was right, even when it was hard. In 2 Samuel 12:13, Nathan says, “The Lord has taken away your sin. You are not going to die.” This encouragement helped David see the light and turn his life around.
Wisdom
Nathan was a wise man who had insight into God’s will. For example, in 2 Samuel 12:1, he uses a parable to get David to understand the wrongness of his actions. Such wisdom can be invaluable to leaders, helping them to make better decisions and navigate complex situations.
Support
Nathan was a friend and supporter of David, even when he was wrong. In 2 Samuel 7:2, David says to Nathan, “Here I am, living in a palace of cedar, while the ark of God remains in a tent.” Nathan’s support helped David to see the error of his ways and make amends.
Who Is Your Nathan?
Every leader needs a Nathan in their lives – someone who will provide honest feedback, encouragement, wisdom, and support. This kind of relationship will help leaders to grow and develop, both as individuals and as leaders. In addition, by having a Nathan in their lives, leaders are better equipped to lead with integrity, wisdom, and grace.
So, who should this “Nathan” be in our lives? A good advisor and source of honest feedback should have certain qualities, such as: being trustworthy, having a good understanding of the leader’s role and responsibilities, communicating effectively and constructively, and giving feedback in a way that is respectful and non-threatening.
It’s essential for leaders to actively seek and cultivate relationships with people who can provide honest feedback. Once you have found someone who can give honest feedback, it’s crucial to be open to receiving and acting on it. Humility and an open mind are essential in receiving feedback, and leaders should be willing to take the necessary steps to improve and grow.
Leaders can become better versions of themselves by actively seeking and cultivating relationships with people who can provide honest feedback and by being open to receiving and acting on it.
Who is your Nathan?
Discussion Questions
These questions can serve as a useful framework for guiding a thoughtful and engaging discussion about the article and how its insights and perspectives apply to our lives today.
- Why is it important for leaders to have someone in their life who can provide honest and constructive feedback?
- What qualities should a good advisor and source of honest feedback have?
- How can leaders actively seek and cultivate relationships with people who can provide honest feedback?
- What role does humility and an open mind play in receiving feedback as a leader?
- How can having a Nathan in their lives help leaders to grow and develop both as individuals and as leaders?
More Articles
I have written several articles on communication skills. You can find them by typing “communication skills” in the search bar. Meanwhile, here are a few of my favorites.
- #510: 4 Elements of Effective Communication Common to Servant Leaders
- #395: When Is the Best Time for A Leader to Ask Questions?
- #162: How Distrust, Conjecture, and Hasty Actions Lead to Disaster
- #058: 21 Habits of Incredibly Successful Salespeople
- #040: What Did You Say? I Wasn’t Listening!
Join the Conversation
As always, questions and comments are welcome. Do you have someone in your life who is a trusted advisor and confidant who is not afraid to tell you the hard truth? If not, why not?
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Category: Skills | Communication Skills
